So today started like every other Friday has for the past few months (excluding holidays that fell on a Friday).
Isaac (My two yr old), woke me up; I took my thyroid medicine; and I parked my butt on our sofa to check my Facebook on my phone.
See? Same old, same old. Happens almost every Friday. Pattern rarely broken for anything.
Check the news feed (or friend stalking, lol).
Click like on posts.
Occasionally comment on a post.
Then check notifications. Where some days you might get a neat surprise from years past. Cute pictures of the kids you had forgotten, funny pictures of the hubby, or good times with friends.
And today, some of those types of old memories did pop up, which was lovely ♡
But, a different old memory popped up as well. One of those picture quotes. The kind that look good on a certain day, while you are feeling a certain way. The kind that makes you feel important and smart at the time for posting it.
Well that day is not today. I do not feel important nor smart for posting this picture quote three years ago.
In fact, I feel mostly chastised by it.
"If you keep telling the same sad small story. You will keep living the same sad small life."
Jean Houston
It's not wrong to have structure, or to do some things the same everyday. That's normal.
But, I'm pretty sure I've been living in a pitiful Merry-go-round of my own making.
I don't know when it happened, or if maybe I've always been this way, but I've become a grumpy complainer.
If it's not whining about my weight (and not doing anything about it), or overreacting to something the boy's normally do, there seems to be an endless supply of things to complain about.
I've got this sad pathetic story that I've put on repeat.
Round and round it goes, yelling the same things over and over.
This isn't going the way I wanted!
That was supposed to happen, but didn't.
Why don't they do what I told them to!?!
I feel so empty....
They seem to have it all together!
I put myself on this ride, handcuffed myself in, and threw away the key.
And now I feel stuck.
I don't want to keep telling the same "sad story".
I want to tell a joyful story.
A story about a woman who struggles with being happy, trying each day to smile.
A story about a mom who doesn't get it right, but apologizes when it's needed, and tries each day (with God's help) to be the best mom her kids need.
A story about a woman who looks at herself and sees a beautiful creation made by God, not trash.
☆☆☆
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4 NIV
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:12 NIV
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10 NIV
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14 NIV
☆☆☆
So now I'm praying God unlocks these handcuffs I put on myself, so I can get off this ride.
To take life one trial at a time, with joy in my heart.
And maybe make a few new habits that are better for myself and my family ♡
