If someone had asked me before I had children what I thought would be the most difficult thing about being a momma, I probably would have said something about changing diapers or middle of the night feedings. I would not have thought about the times the little ones cried in a car ride while I was driving and unable to help them. Or when I would go somewhere and have to breastfeed in the van, hoping no one could see me. Having to "arrange" time alone with the hubby. Or when the children would cry and cry and nothing would comfort them. So I would just hold them, and rock and bounce until they fell asleep.
After all of that, among many other things that are not pleasant, I would start to wonder is this all worth it? I am so tired and grumpy it doesn't seem like things could ever get better. I was forever going to be the lady with the dark circles under the eyes, spit up stains on her shirts, and two kids attached to her hip. I mean, come on! Is this how it is supposed to be? Am I ever going to have a moment to myself? The batbroom isn't even a safe zone anymore. =(
It is at these moments I see their little faces looking up at me in such adoration. I am their Momma. The woman who takes care of them when their tummy's hurt, or if they scrape a knee. Their comforting arms when sleepy or sick. The soothing voice when they are upset. Bringer of food when hungry. Teacher of new things. And buddy to play with when lonely.
These sweet little guys, so innocent in their need for me, have brought so much joy into my life. They have taught me to smile in the tough times, to be calm when all I want to do is cry, and to stop and enjoy the moments I have with them right now. These moments are going to be gone sooner than I would like. Until then, I am going to try my hardest to treasure these precious kids I have been blessed with.
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